Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Random Flies in a Bottle Buzzing Around in My Head

Have you ever watched a little child truly cry?
Not sobbing, not sniffling but crying?
They're not ashamed of their tears...
They're not ashamed that it hurts....
They're not ashamed that they want someone to love them...
They trust that the one they are crying out to will help them, hold them, kiss their boo-boo and tell them it will be ok...
They're not ashamed of the vulnerability in the moment...

Why when I go to God, do I sometimes feel like I have to hold myself together?
Why when I pray do I not admit how I truly feel, how it truly hurts?
Why do I wear a mask when it's evident that I'm not okay?
Why when I see the truth and want to embrace it instead run to a corner and hide?

Are the emotions we have as children supposed to stay in childhood?
Does vulnerability really become evil after the age of 13?
Are we really supposed to turn into rocks as we advance into adulthood instead of staying moldable in the Potter's hands?

What is the real question here?