Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Graduated? Me?

Finally! The moment I’ve been waiting for! With a flick of my wrist the white square that had tormented my forehead for the last half hour flew up in the sky. Sunlight and the feeling of freedom engulfed my entire being in their rays. And then suddenly they were popped by two questions, juts like a toddler pops a bubble while trying to grab it.
“Graduated? Graduated from what?” “Freedom? Freedom from what?”

My mind raced back to random video clips of the last 13 years. High school was a bit of a challenge. 8th grade was the coolest year. English was and still is hard. But what did I graduate from? Sharpening pencils and sitting at a desk? All nighters? Late night chocolate bars and Gatorade? Getting jabbed awake in class by a fellow chemist? Was it the page mass: 599 pg books to those massive libraries college kids lug around? I didn’t graduate from learning did I? Was this just a ceremony to give me the right to place my blue, brown and golden tassel on my vehicle’s mirror? An excuse to have a nice golden sticker on a paper with my name in the middle?

I knew what I had to get done. I knew what I had to accomplish. I had a goal and purpose: to learn and to get to this moment. But this moment is fleeting away. I cannot hold on, I cannot live in this second for the rest of my life. The open road is rapidly moving under my feet, where will this next turn lead to? Graduating from high-school isn’t being done with school it’s just the drink before the race. The rest before a new day begins. The sharpening before the knife can be used to cut anything. The powder behind the slug. The lotion before the tan. A tune up before the concert.

As for freedom, is it possible to ever be free from learning. I hope not. It would be terrible to stop learning and have to just live life because there’s no thing else. I want new challenges. I want new adventures. I want new ways to be reminded that I am not strong enough to do it on my own. I want to be reminded of my frailty and venerability through life, learning, further education and everything else. I never want to be so confident in my self that I don’t rely on God. My desire is to be continually reminded that I am only sufficient in Christ’s sufficiency.

I want to go farther than anyone’s gone
I want to dig deeper than anyone’s dug
I want to run faster that anyone’s run
For You, for You
I want to see further than anyone’s seen
I want to swim longer than anyone’s swam
I want to hike higher than anyone’s been
In search of You

Lean on, trust in and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways know, recognize and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths.
Proverbs. 3 5-6 -Amplified

So far in my short 18 years I’ve realized that it’s not graduating from it’s graduating to. When you graduate from anything, be it high-school, kinder-garden, EXCEL, hunter’s education or college you are given the opportunity to stay where you are or to keep going higher and further. That in it’s self has to be one of the best gifts any graduate can receive. It is our choice what to do with this freedom. Give it to God? Or follow it our way?

So, what are you graduating to?

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

A Sweet Mentality

Ever feel like a piece of candy? Like smarties, snickers, skittles, kit-kats or m&ms? I have. Right now I feel like a lollipop. A dum-dums lollipop, actually. Only 3 days after high-school graduation and I feel like a dum-dum, and it’s not just the name.

I’ve been advancing up the stick towards my target. My aim was to be on top, having achieved this success at last! But now, what is there? My ‘sweetness’ is stuck at the end of this stick and I can’t go further. If I do, I’ll end up in the dirt.

I’m stifled in this wrapper that advertises what is inside. The words on the outside excite me yet when the wrapper is unwrapped I feel insecure and vulnerable. As if I’m on display in a glass case.

What to do when one feels like a piece candy?

Friday, May 16, 2008

First Draft: Thoughts Of A Mathematical Thumb-Drive – 1

What do you do with a thumb drive? Well, if your like most people you use it to transport information from one device to the other machine. You store valuable information on it. It is normally in your pocket, on your keychain, or somewhere safe nearby.
A thumb drive is an object. A toy. A useful tool. It is chosen and bought by someone who is planning on using it and not just throwing it into a drawer.
Not to take any of this out of context, but I want to be a thumb-drive when I grow up. Ready at any time for God to download new files, ideas, and passions upon my drive. Always close to my Savior, Jesus, in his hand, pocket or keychain. Prepared to share information if God asks me to and gives me the opportunity. Willing to be transformed.
Through previous experiences, different conversations with close friends, and hands-on lessons from God, here’s some interesting data that has been stored and written on my chip lately.

(talking to God)
I + who I am + what I am = nothing
You + who You are + what You are = everything
My nothingness + Your everything = my completeness in You alone
So, since I’ve been born from above:
I + You + who I am + who You are + what I am + what You are =
I am Jesus + Jesus is me + I am your daughter + You are my Father =
I am perfect – my flesh(sarx) =
I can only be perfect in You and because I am You and You are me,
therefore gratefulness, not pride is (should be) the result of my perfection =
Desire to fulfill Your will + follow You + do everything I do for You + strive not to care about what others think of me = Philippians 4.13

I have strength for all things in Christ Who empowers me [I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him who infuses inner strength into me: I am self-sufficient in Christ’s sufficiency]. - Philippians 4.13 Amplified Version

I’m not done living life yet. My bytes have not all been used. I don’t know the conclusion. Only the master techie knows that. I have to wait until He is ready to download; wait for, rest on, and be content with abiding in Him. My physical life won’t be concluded until it has ended here on earth, and my eternal life has started with God, somewhere beyond the blue . . .

Saturday, May 3, 2008

Photo Scavenger Hunt - Advanced EXCEL assignment

1. Stapler - Look at that face. You can almost hear it sing "Lonely, I am so lonely. I need some paper, that I can punch".

2. Reflections - Watching my brother steal my cookies

3. Leap - A leap, jump and a land... but where did the basketball go?

4. Fears - Empty cookie jars and broken pizza stones.
5. Coffee - Steaming fresh espresso raises the tired to a new level of energy.

6. Time - It reminds you that it has past, promises that it will run out and challenges you to live it now.

7. Squirrel - FOR SALE: Small comfortable apartment on Pine Tree Road located in the rural community, Hertzler Acres. Affordable with beautiful view, deadly fall and outdoor outhouse(s). Chattering neighbors guaranteed.
Please call 1-GOING-NUTZS.
8. White Trash - (Australian accent) Good 'ay Mate. (English accent) Cheer up 'ol lad, better luck next time.

9. Date - Keeping track of who's coming over when and for what.

10. Police - The closest I'll ever get to a cop (hopefully); speeding past his house, hoping to get the car in the pic! A DRIVE BY SHOOTING! You can see our van window and mirror.

11. Self Portrait - "What to say or what not to say, that is the question."

12. Making a Statement – "Remember your Creator in the days of your youth" - Ecclesiastes 12.1 NIV BTW, this picture was NOT posed!
14. Weather - This is my favorite kind of weather, when you feel the warm sun race across your shoulders and then the shiver from the clouds follows closely behind.

16. Green - "To be green is a beautiful thing: it makes one want to jump and sing." - corny line of the day

18. A Favorite Thing - This is Craz, one of my awesome, beautiful Holstein calves.

20. Vanishing Point - "Roads are for journeys, not destinations" - Unknown

21. Funny - The beginnings of a fight

22. Bonus assignment: Cute - Zeb, the little man we take care of.