Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Graduated? Me?

Finally! The moment I’ve been waiting for! With a flick of my wrist the white square that had tormented my forehead for the last half hour flew up in the sky. Sunlight and the feeling of freedom engulfed my entire being in their rays. And then suddenly they were popped by two questions, juts like a toddler pops a bubble while trying to grab it.
“Graduated? Graduated from what?” “Freedom? Freedom from what?”

My mind raced back to random video clips of the last 13 years. High school was a bit of a challenge. 8th grade was the coolest year. English was and still is hard. But what did I graduate from? Sharpening pencils and sitting at a desk? All nighters? Late night chocolate bars and Gatorade? Getting jabbed awake in class by a fellow chemist? Was it the page mass: 599 pg books to those massive libraries college kids lug around? I didn’t graduate from learning did I? Was this just a ceremony to give me the right to place my blue, brown and golden tassel on my vehicle’s mirror? An excuse to have a nice golden sticker on a paper with my name in the middle?

I knew what I had to get done. I knew what I had to accomplish. I had a goal and purpose: to learn and to get to this moment. But this moment is fleeting away. I cannot hold on, I cannot live in this second for the rest of my life. The open road is rapidly moving under my feet, where will this next turn lead to? Graduating from high-school isn’t being done with school it’s just the drink before the race. The rest before a new day begins. The sharpening before the knife can be used to cut anything. The powder behind the slug. The lotion before the tan. A tune up before the concert.

As for freedom, is it possible to ever be free from learning. I hope not. It would be terrible to stop learning and have to just live life because there’s no thing else. I want new challenges. I want new adventures. I want new ways to be reminded that I am not strong enough to do it on my own. I want to be reminded of my frailty and venerability through life, learning, further education and everything else. I never want to be so confident in my self that I don’t rely on God. My desire is to be continually reminded that I am only sufficient in Christ’s sufficiency.

I want to go farther than anyone’s gone
I want to dig deeper than anyone’s dug
I want to run faster that anyone’s run
For You, for You
I want to see further than anyone’s seen
I want to swim longer than anyone’s swam
I want to hike higher than anyone’s been
In search of You

Lean on, trust in and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways know, recognize and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths.
Proverbs. 3 5-6 -Amplified

So far in my short 18 years I’ve realized that it’s not graduating from it’s graduating to. When you graduate from anything, be it high-school, kinder-garden, EXCEL, hunter’s education or college you are given the opportunity to stay where you are or to keep going higher and further. That in it’s self has to be one of the best gifts any graduate can receive. It is our choice what to do with this freedom. Give it to God? Or follow it our way?

So, what are you graduating to?


Anonymous said...

Cool thoughts, Meredith. I have actually been blessed by your last 3 posts, I just haven't gotten around to commenting... Thanks so much for your thoughts. ~Rachel

Christy said...

Yay Meredith!!
The beginning of your post tickled me. Was that the part that tickled you?
ha ha
I love you.

Leslie said...

"powder behind the slug . ." hmmm, I ain't never heard that metaphor before!! :-P Love ya, mer!